Nothing! gets attention

Another Cracker Barrel billboard flies past. My forehead rests against the cool of the window in the passenger seat, and I glance to my left to look at my mother out of the corner of my eye. She is in her own personal cruise control, jamming out to Elton John’s Greatest Hits. “Rocket man up here burning out his fuse alone…”


I enjoy these drives up and back from State College, I really do. I look back to the blur of the road, letting my eyes glaze over in surreal contentment, relaxing into the laziness that sets in once you’ve settled down and realized that nothing needs to get done in the four hours you are in this car. In fact, there might even be a lonely pillow somewhere in the back…


A blaring white rectangular billboard with large black letters appears on the horizon. My eyes alight to it instantly; the contrast with the green and brown of the Pennsylvania landscape is sharp indeed. Squinting at first, I am able to decipher the large letters and a little later the small black ones underneath as we hurtle toward the sign.

Nothing!

It’s what gets done when you don’t advertise.

I have about a second to imprint this billboard in my memory. I think the company it is promoting is, shockingly, an advertising company…ahhhh…clever. I admire their style! The sign is devoid of color, so it attracts the eyes away from the surroundings. The stark, blank white gives off the impression of emptiness and a lack of purpose, while the large black letters utilize that emptiness and fill it with a message: nothing. We think of nothing as a negative thing, something we want to avoid. There is “nothing on this board"...that is their message. They are saying that because you have not advertised using this empty billboard, you will get nowhere because “nothing gets done when you don’t advertise”…so advertise.

The Airbrush Art of Deception

You’ve probably seen them; those provocative commercials that feature a 5’8’’, 120 lb female proponent. The catchy pop music stutters in the background as she poses here and there, turns this way and that, sometimes smiling seductively, other times laughing at apparently nothing. More often than not, her perfectly straight, silky hair is being buffeted away from her face by an unseen studio fan, complementing the flawless airbrush texture of her face.

This is a depiction of the ideal woman. She is abnormally slender everywhere except her surgically or computer graphically enhanced chest and hips. Her skin is bereft of any deformity, no matter how slight, whether it is a miniscule pimple or a well placed mole. Her makeup is so masterfully crafted by specialists that she appears to be wearing none, when in reality this woman’s features are impossible to achieve naturally. Yet, despite these blaring contradictions, we are powerless to challenge her as she promotes Suave, Mabeline, Dove, or Slimfast, whatever the product. She stands on a pedestal composed of the backs of those who created her image, a project that has been years in the making.

In the colorful ‘70s, the ideal woman was just as slender, but her proportions were more believable. There was less emphasis placed upon her flawless features, and the creativity of her hairstyle was more important than any silky, perfectly straight quality. Her cheeks were plump and red, and her eyes were full of mischief and life.

Why and how, then, has this image changed?

Marketability. As our tastes as consumers have moved from the pleasant to the seductive, so has the ideal woman been warped to suit the promotional needs of companies struggling in competition with each other. She has been elongated, slimmed down, and plumped up in particular places. Her teeth are whiter, eyes are brighter, and her entire face is less human than ever before. She is a goddess that none on earth can emulate, unless of course we purchase Mabeline’s Fit Me Foundation, Gillette Venus razor, or Garnier Fructis Style curl scrunch. Then, of course, we will all be able to fling our voluptuous hair back from our unblemished faces as the fan buffest the sleek locks away, confident and perfect in our supremacy.  

Check out these beauty ads from the 60s-90s. Compare them to your typical beauty ads today.

Ruff, Ruff Cut

I watched the shaggy tufts of dirty blond hair rise up from the desk and walk towards the podium. The bedraggled student was about to deliver his presentation for our freshmen seminar class, and the image he presented could not have better epitomized an oxymoron. The unwashed mop of hair, the scruffy, unshaven cheeks, and the bloodshot bespectacled eyes crashed with unstoppable velocity into the  poorly cut tan suit donned for the occasion. His black, leather dress shoes peaked out from under his pants legs apologetically, as if aware of how out of place the whole outfit was. His blue tie swung only inches from his 7 day beard. His fidgety manner with the class and even with himself made the picture even more uncomfortable, and I sat in my seat, pondering why he would bother wearing a suit to a 1 credit class to deliver a 10 minute speech to which the rest of us had worn sweat pants...

Chapter 11 in our RCL book, concerning ethical proof, struck me as a possible explanation for the kid's strange urge to fancy himself up for an occasion that meant so little to everyone else. "Whatever the speaker's true ethical commitments, what is important, again, is our perception of the speaker." Ahhhh.

The kid got out of bed that morning, thought about his day, remembered he had a presentation to deliver, and then conceived the impression he wanted us to take away from his physical appearance: one of professionalism and scholarly aptitude. Unfortunately, he seemed to have forgotten, ignored, or been generally unaware of other necessary steps to achieving that impression (i.e., shaving, brushing hair, getting a good night's sleep...) Nevertheless, the suit and tie unmistakably conveyed the idea that this young gentleman put a generous amount of thought into how he wished to appear to the audience, and how he wished to for them to filter his message through the positive perception his appearance created. Even though he failed to take into account that the contrasts in his image were so great they negated that positive perception, he undeniably took the first step in building up his ethos as a public speaker. Well done, shaggy.

Shore No More

Most of the class in LA101H will remember the U.S. Government video we sat through on Tuesday. I didn’t have high expectations for the clip, but I was a little surprised by the quality of the video…engaging, humorous, creative…all important components of a successful rhetorical device. The audience was amused, and although I’m sure most of us know who the president of the United States is, perhaps it was educational as well. I mean, did everyone know that the Chief Justice was John Roberts?

            So we’re giggling at the silly college students who are laughing at themselves too, and then suddenly something happens that I really didn’t anticipate.

“Jersey Shore…”

I sincerely wish these students hadn’t even gone there. By utilizing one of the most pervasive influences in America right now, this project only recognizes the Shore’s power over us. By acknowledging the fact that every Penn State student can unite under this banner of mental retardation, they’ve cheapened what I think could have been a great quality video. I think the rhetoric in the presentation was strong enough when supported by only the examples of what the students did or did not know about the U.S. government.

We can’t escape from the Jersey Shore! Somehow, this useless, pathetic, degrading piece of filth has ensnared everyone’s attention to the point where we use them as examples in our class projects. Shoot me now!

Anyway, my point is: rhetoricians sometimes stoop low enough and reference whatever trend is popular at the time to gain ethos with the audience. I don’t condemn this tactic in every situation, but personally I feel as though this group of students could have gone without mentioning Jersey Shore.

And to divert your attention from the fact that in this post, I have committed the same atrocities I am judging, newsflash: I just took a shower and I have water stuck in my eyes. See, now you’re thinking about having water stuck in your eyes. Persuasive, am I not?